A followed up from previous post - Love Buster Part 1 - now I'm gonna continue the next 3 love buster shared by Pastor Kong.
Love Buster #4: Dishonesty
Proverbs 24:26 says: He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.
God wants us to have completely honesty with our spouse. Because honesty is an important factor for us, especially the girls as it meet one of their top 5 needs (Openness and honesty).
Having a radical honesty provides 3things.
#1. Provides a clear roadmap to resolve conflicts.
#2. Meets an important emotional needs
- Allows lots of love units to be deposited
#3. Dishonesty is an offensive!
- When there's no trust, it just meant no faith in each other.
Be it friends, family, work and spouse, no one would like themselves to be cheated on, to be deceived, to be treated like a fool who believed in people naively. But, sad to say that the world just happened to have people who are dishonest to others just to protect themselves.
Lets explore the reason of people lying:
#1. People lied to PROTECT themselves.
This type of liar usually 1) afraid to get hurt, 2)causing people to withdraw love units. So they lied, always thinking for themselves only. Self-centered people.
#2. People lied to LOOK GOOD.
E.g. You wanna know... lets say a beautiful chick. But you know that that is a high maintenance chick, but you wanna look good in front of her. So, you said you worked as a director of company, lived in a mansion, a few sports just right below your house.
Simple as that, you lied to impress someone. But we all know that lies can't hold for long ya?
#3. People lied to AVOID TROUBLES.
Blame shifting.
#4. People lied OUT OF COMPULSION.
Some people just lie about everything they could. They're just used to lying around.
Guys, dishonest will only postpone the Truth. It does not solve any problems and when the truth is being revealed, it will deal more damaged to the person that before!
But while we are revealing the truth, don't get honesty to combo together with other Love Buster.
For example, you just shout at your parents because you just don't like the way they do stuff! No, you are making disrespectful comments.
Eph 4:15 says "but speaking the truth in love..."
Now introducing 2 policies for Love Busters.
#1. Radical Honesty
Definition: Revealed as much information about yourselves as you know. Like, hobbies; past relationship; favorites; thoughts; feelings; history etc.
#2. Policies of Joint Agreement
Definition: Never do anything without an ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT between you and your partner.
The place of agreement is the place of power.
#5. Annoying Habits.
Sometimes we get annoyed by people and people get annoyed by us as well, just that we didn't realized it at times. People usually thinks we are annoying because we don't feel what they are feeling. We are just so focus on ourselves that we didn't realized people around us.
It takes 3weeks to break a habit and 3weeks to form 1.
#6. Independent Behavior
Couples should make decision together instead of having 1 that is over dominant in the relationship. Being together is always a two way street instead of just a one-way street. You gotta give and you gotta learn to take as well.
Sometimes people just complained about their partner isn't compatible with them. BUT take note of this, no one is perfect in this world, and there's is no ideal partner you can find this world. You may thought that you found an ideal partner, but as times goes your ideal partner doesn't belong to your ideal partner anymore because you expected more them your partner.
Compatibility is something that you CREATED on purpose, not something you think it's just that way.
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