Love Buster Part 2

A followed up from previous post - Love Buster Part 1 - now I'm gonna continue the next 3 love buster shared by Pastor Kong.

Love Buster #4: Dishonesty
Proverbs 24:26 says: He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.

God wants us to have completely honesty with our spouse. Because honesty is an important factor for us, especially the girls as it meet one of their top 5 needs (Openness and honesty).

Having a radical honesty provides 3things.

#1. Provides a clear roadmap to resolve conflicts.

#2. Meets an important emotional needs
- Allows lots of love units to be deposited

#3. Dishonesty is an offensive!
- When there's no trust, it just meant no faith in each other.

Be it friends, family, work and spouse, no one would like themselves to be cheated on, to be deceived, to be treated like a fool who believed in people naively. But, sad to say that the world just happened to have people who are dishonest to others just to protect themselves.

Lets explore the reason of people lying:

#1. People lied to PROTECT themselves.
This type of liar usually 1) afraid to get hurt, 2)causing people to withdraw love units. So they lied, always thinking for themselves only. Self-centered people.

#2. People lied to LOOK GOOD.
E.g. You wanna know... lets say a beautiful chick. But you know that that is a high maintenance chick, but you wanna look good in front of her. So, you said you worked as a director of company, lived in a mansion, a few sports just right below your house.
Simple as that, you lied to impress someone. But we all know that lies can't hold for long ya?

#3. People lied to AVOID TROUBLES.
Blame shifting.

#4. People lied OUT OF COMPULSION.
Some people just lie about everything they could. They're just used to lying around.

Guys, dishonest will only postpone the Truth. It does not solve any problems and when the truth is being revealed, it will deal more damaged to the person that before!
But while we are revealing the truth, don't get honesty to combo together with other Love Buster.
For example, you just shout at your parents because you just don't like the way they do stuff! No, you are making disrespectful comments.

Eph 4:15 says "but speaking the truth in love..."

Now introducing 2 policies for Love Busters.

#1. Radical Honesty
Definition: Revealed as much information about yourselves as you know. Like, hobbies; past relationship; favorites; thoughts; feelings; history etc.

#2. Policies of Joint Agreement
Definition: Never do anything without an ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT between you and your partner.

The place of agreement is the place of power.


#5. Annoying Habits.

Sometimes we get annoyed by people and people get annoyed by us as well, just that we didn't realized it at times. People usually thinks we are annoying because we don't feel what they are feeling. We are just so focus on ourselves that we didn't realized people around us.

It takes 3weeks to break a habit and 3weeks to form 1.

#6. Independent Behavior

Couples should make decision together instead of having 1 that is over dominant in the relationship. Being together is always a two way street instead of just a one-way street. You gotta give and you gotta learn to take as well.

Sometimes people just complained about their partner isn't compatible with them. BUT take note of this, no one is perfect in this world, and there's is no ideal partner you can find this world. You may thought that you found an ideal partner, but as times goes your ideal partner doesn't belong to your ideal partner anymore because you expected more them your partner.

Compatibility is something that you CREATED on purpose, not something you think it's just that way.

Love Buster - Part A

Been enjoying great sermon by Pastor Kong for the start of the year till now, esp the sermon of relationships for couples together with some drama. So couples, DO TAKE NOTE of this entry ya?

The final conclusion for relationship series - Love Busters a.k.a Love Destroyer.

6 TYPES OF LOVE BUSTER.

#1. Selfish Demand
1 Cor 13:4 -5 :
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

Look, love is kind, does not envy, does not parade itself, not puffed up and most importantly is, does not seek its own.(translation: is not self-centered)

When you're in love with someone, you think for that person. You care for that person, you stand in that person's shoe and you spare a thought for them. You made thoughtful request for your spouse. Your spouse is always on your mind. And you don't demand to give your the things that you want.

#2. Disrespectful Judgments

Who is exactly a disrespectful judgment person?
Ans: A person who is always criticizing about another person.

E.g. "hey, why are you wearing so ugly today? Why can't you wear something like this this this, that that that."
Or "eee, i told you that you can't cook this fish this way right? Next time put a little more salt, a little more onion for more favoring."

You know, people who always criticizing always thinks that they are right. And they always believe that they have the authority to comment on people. They bring the confidence of their spouse down. They make their spouse feel they are worthless.
Friends, if your spouse is always doing that, not sparing a thought for your dignity and always making fun of your choice, judgmental, then you know your spouse is one of the Love Buster.

#3. Angry Outburst

The title already depict what i wanna say. Anger management.
Does your spouse have anger management problem? Love to physical attack you? Some people may thought anger problem is about physical attacking a person. But the more hurtful attack is verbal attack. Physical damage is temporary but emotional damage is almost eternally.

And usually people with angry outburst, always think themselves as punisher. They keep on giving punishment by attacking(physical and verbal) on others.
Are you one of those who always scold and scold and scold or whack and whack and whack people? Hm, time to think about your action.


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Sometimes we always think that we can sacrifice alittle more for our partner. Thinking that your spouse will change, and you keep on sacrificing for something. But guess what, one day you will just be sick and tired of it, because you realize that your spouse doesn't get it and is not willing to change at all.
Love is not about sacrificing all the times. You gotta give and take. Most importantly, you gotta love and enjoy loving and being loved!

To be continue...