龚芝怡 - 明知我爱你

告诉你 瞒着你 只不过是个决定
放弃你 忘记你 只怕我无法前进
不知道为什么会如此莫名紧张你
我越了解你 越靠近你 越犹豫

明知道我爱你 却不敢告诉你
我害怕失去你 宁愿沉默不语
该如何整理 幸福在手里
我恨自己 无能为力

明知道我爱你 却不敢靠近你
我假装不在意 反而痛了自己
多痛都可以 不能没有你
只想永远永远爱你
你知不知道我也没关系

告诉你 瞒着你 只不过是个决定
但为何 到如今 我依然无法前进
不知道为什么会如此莫名紧张你
我越了解你 越靠近你 越犹豫

明知道我爱你 却不敢告诉你
我害怕失去你 宁愿沉默不语
该如何整理 幸福在手里
我恨自己 无能为力

明知道我爱你 却不敢靠近你
我假装不在意 反而痛了自己
多痛都可以 不能没有你
只想永远永远爱你
你知不知道我也没关系

明知道我爱你 假装不在意
多痛都可以 不能没有你
只想永远永远爱你
你知不知道真的没关系

Re-newed!

A brand new skin, brand new me! :D

Anyway was sharing the other time, all about Thailand trip. This time round, i just gonna show photos after photos(but of course using video), to show my Thailand backpack trip. But unfortunately, i can't as it really damn long to just upload a video. -.-

Anyway yes, when i meant brand new of me, i guess it's time. Few years back, I said to myself: "I shall walk out of the umbrella that my parent have been carrying it for me." And now, I can finally hold the umbrella myself (though the umbrella belongs to them), but nevertheless I know and I know, one day i can buy my own umbrella and buy for them even nicer umbrellas.

(It's okay if you don't get the point here, it's my own view)

Suddenly, my doors seemed to open up. Not just a door, but is DOORS. Ideas keep popping into my mind, and hopefully i could translate them into action, not just NATO(No action talk only). But I know and I know and I know, that God is the only one who can lead me to the right direction. Like what the Bible says, not my will but Your will be done. Amen to that? :)

Till then, I shall update more if i could.

BACK FROM THAILAND.

Yes, finally I am back from Thailand, with almost a thousand pictures taken during the trip. This trip is really really really SUPER AWESOME!!!! And i definitely not regretting this and definitely going for another backpack trip around Asia again. How i wish i can typed out all the events that happened during the trip, but i guess i won't be doing so. Because it really really VERY LONG!!! But no matter what, everything it's deep inside my heart and mind. Experience is always our dear teacher, ain't it? :)

When I left for Thailand, Thailand is still experiencing Red-Shirt protesters against Yellow-Shirt government. Though they were still in peace talk, demanding for an exact details of the early election from the government, tension were still in the midst among every Singaporeans who wanna go to Thailand, Bangkok. Even my parents especially my mum is uber concerned about me going there, persuading me not to go. Even had a small fight with her days before i fly off to Thailand. Nevertheless, I still trust in God that He is with me, trusting that He have the power to set everything nicely and well for me, I went ahead of my plans to Thailand, setting off for my first ever backpack with Darrius, Aizhen & Jialing; 2 guys, 2 girls.

The temperature there is definitely hotter than Singapore, and the sun blazing over us is also too strong for us to take it. We can't even last more than a day to get sunburned when we tried to explore Chiang Mai when we reached. Stayed at Chiang Mai for 2days 1 night, before proceeding on to Chiang Rai, which we stayed for about 6days 5night, and back to Chiang Mai to take a mini-van to Pai for a 3days 2nights relaxation. Lastly back to Chiang Mai again, to visit Liberty Kids Thai Orphanage.

All these are just simplified version of the trip. I will describe about the trip the next entry. :) Because the trip is really really really super funny, tiring, sweet and chilled! Scenery are gorgeous and too nice to resist it. Mountains are so natural. The sky is so clear that stars are surrounding it. People are kind, though there are a bit of language barrier. BUT STILL! everything are just too awesome. Way too awesome.

Made a lot of thoughts over there and I began to realize another part of me. Of course, it belong to me only. Thinkings that could allowed me to expand myself, enlarge myself, increase my capacity. Little things that i wanna do for my life, for my family, for God.

Trip to orphanage is great too. Met up with Orphanage Thai's Pastor, Pastors from Philippines, people from America. It's like United Nation over there. Haha. Learnt a few things from the Philippines' Pastors. Indeed, God is good all the times, and all the times God is good. Thankful to God for this trip.

"To be a disciple of Christ: Deny self, carry the cross and lastly follow Him."

This week really is an experiencing & adrenaline week. First time ever seen such a market since i started out. Most of the time, the market would be just following the waves, counting waves would be easy and simple. But this week is full of fundamental. Fundamentals that brings the Euro up and down, fluctuating every hour, every minutes. And mind you, these fluctuation is not just normal 30-40points that your heart is able to tahan. These are what i call - the amplification of waves fluctuation. (AWF)

AWFs bring up to 3-4 hundreds points within split seconds. They made your eyes really started rolling up and down, pumping a thousands gallons of blood in and out of your heart. Causing insomnia, distractions, all sort of negativity emotional thoughts came rushing to your brain. Stress level went up, might even caused your regular period to go haywire. But nevertheless, for a small little trader like me, it just burned maybe about 5-6 hundreds USD, due to AWF. But still these 5-6 hundreds buy me experiences that you might just see maybe once a year or twice a year?

I really gotta admit, I am addicted. Really really addicted to the thrill that you get from this game. Addicted to the stress that causes you to unable to focus on your studies, game, what-so-ever you are doing. And slowly, slowly it is eating up your whole concentration. Your mind began thinking about every now and then. Just like love-at-first-sight. Yes, it's that kind of attraction it have.

So basically this week is the best week of the year. And i hereby nominating it as the best week of the year for now. Maybe my trip to Thailand might get another nomination, but for now, this is da BEST!

Oh yeah, just to share what might caused these awesome week.

1. Dow Jones Industrial had great free fall from 2.41pm - 2.45pm, about 1k points way down.

Reason? Rumour to be caused by a citibank trader that causes the whole market to plunge down.

2. Greece is really causing alot of problem huh.

3. European Central Bank is not doing anything to boost traders confidence.

4. Now britain is having an awesome election. Apparently it seems like current leading government are on par with the opponent (The Conservatives).

5. USD is going up, due to news given that more jobs created this month than previous month.

Actually there are more, but it looks like some conspiracy thingy to me. But anyway thats not the main. The main is Euro is crashing down, and tonight they are preparing some back-up plan for the bailed-out Greece. Hopefully all turn out well. If not, i gotta experience up and down for 1 more day.

YUP, 1 more day to Thailand! WEEE.

A simple thought.

WAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. Totally wassup man. :D

Enough of poser hip. Just happened to have a feeling to blog today. So, dear readers u guys are in luck today man! :)

Just realized that, when i am gone for Taiwan for 3weeks, SO many things happened. Like seriously, is it the peak season of troubles, or is it just the Devil wanting to attack people around me while i'm away? But dear friends, not to worry for as I AM BACK!! So give me a call any time you want @ 9xxxxxxx. You know you need it. :D

Yes, a look at the date and we all know what is it. 30th April. Something really meaningful is on the way to happen to me. 10 more days is all I am looking forward to. 11 more days is the beginning of another chapter. And i have been waiting for super long for this happen. 1yr 10months. Neither long nor short, but wonderful journey.

And I still have my new year resolution in my head. And its bringing me headache. I'm just 15% way there to my new year resolution. WHY!?!? Almost 1/2 year had passed, yet i'm just 15% of what i target. 85% more... AZA AZA fighting!!! >.<

Ok, whats next....... oh yes. My future plan. I have so many things in mind man. Alot of stuff is going through my head right now, that I don't even have a really clear and stable plan right now. But who cares, I know what i want right now and I'm gonna make sure I will get my wants. But I know if that's isn't God's will, then it shall not be done without His way. In the end, I still leave everything to You, my Lord. :)

Last but not least, I know God is faithful! Before even ORD i have already found a job. Though far but its a flexible job. It's gonna be nice. And He is always faithful, so I know that entry to SMU ain't gonna be a problem to me. I know that I know that I know, that God is gonna open up the doors for me in SMU, my ideal university to go to. So friends, please pray together with me ok?For an opened door for SMU.

Oh yeaa, this then is the last. Happy birthday to my dear friend - Gracelyn. You do know that I'm blessed with a friend like you. So wanna dedicate this to you. :) Of course, if you read this blog. haa.

Thats it. Tada...

**Words without thoughts are sometimes stupid, words with thoughts are also sometimes stupid. Just talking making people sometimes stupid.. hahaas.

nonsense logic i have.